Today was my very 1st 5K! I knew going into this I had hit an all new insanity level. What was I thinking? I've never done anything like this before. Much less, I can't run. My feet don't move like others due to the surgeries but most of all because I babied them for the last 5-6 years and haven't challenged myself to move them because I've always been scared of injuring them. I decided a month ago babying them was over and well they got a rude awakening this morning. Not that I haven't tortured them with my workouts but today I made them show up ;-)
I can't even begin to describe the emotions that went into this. Barely into the race and I was the last one. I kept thinking I can't do this! I'm being freakin' ridiculous to even attempt this. Just get me to the next street and I'll stop this madness. After all, the cop following me had to be irritated by now that I was so far behind everyone else. So as I got to the 1 mile point I thought okay, I'm a third of a way, just stop. Nobody should be mad at me at least I tried.
Then out of nowhere the female cop following me in her police car got on her speaker and said "You got this". She pulled up beside and gave me some pointers (see, I had no idea keep your arms elevated and bent and moving and the swelling that was happening in my hands would go down). So I trekked on.
I finally saw the halfway point and I thought again I was done and that was it. Again, the female cop pulled up and said she wasn't going to let me quit. We chatted as I walked (we know each other due to she's had to respond to calls at my place of work but she didn't realize it until I told her but said she knew I looked familiar). I was finally feeling like I could do this. I wasn't sure how but I finally reached inside myself for that determination that is making me achieve my goals. The cop asked me what was motivating me and I told her I was tired of sitting on the sidelines when someone asks me to do something and having to say no because I can't keep up. I don't know how she knew to ask all the right questions to keep me going but she did.
If I gave up now, what else was I going to give up on? Just because something is hard was I going to continue to give up as I have in the past? So, I kept on going with my arms up and moving. I finally saw one of my CF folks at one of the check points and she encouraged me. I kept going.
At this time I had 1 cop in front of me and 1 behind me. The one in front of me blasted some tunes for me (that was just cool) and then the one behind me was the female cop kept telling me to keep going. She then told me some of my CF family were coming to join me. I hadn't seen them at this point. Finally, I saw the girls walking towards me and she was right they were coming to go the rest of the way with me. I've just never been around such supportive people. So encouraging! Then here comes my coworker, Wayne. I had already told him he'd probably have to come find me and he did. He's used to being around all of us girls at work so here he was surrounded by a bunch of new girls.
So everyone at this point was chatting and I'm just focusing on getting thru this. I really thought I would never see the finish line (that place where it all began). One of my trainers was in the group who came to finish this with me. She's an awesome trainer and she told me when we got around the last curve we were going to jog in. I didn't think I could do it but she told me we wouldn't go any faster but just pick the legs up a little more. By this time I saw a bunch of people heading to the finish line to cheer me on.
So here we go around the bend so to speak. Guess what? I DID IT!!!
I remember seeing cameras and thinking, really folks you just don't know how much I hate having my picture taken. I saw my other trainer and think he handed me some water and I just hugged him but I almost literally fell to the ground because my legs were like jello at this point. I hugged a bunch of other folks, some were my CF family and just everyone else. I made sure I thanked the cop that encouraged me along the way. She was not going to give up on me and let me give up on myself. Which is also the attitude my CF family has. They aren't giving up on me and they won't let me give up on myself. I'm not sure if my CF trainers knew what they were in store for the day I wandered in to CF but they do seem up for the challenge.
So with all the emotions that went from embarrassment, humiliating, determined, who cares what others think, energized and finally PROUD of my accomplishment. Next year, I'll be keeping up with everyone else and be the one to go back and help bring the last place person to the finish line!
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