Still Learning

Having to learn that being scaled back on some things is okay but I'm NOT there yet.  I've never liked being scaled.  I never feel like I accomplished anything or challenged myself enough when scaled.  I always feel cheated.  I feel like I've let myself down.  My mindset is at a point of wanting to push myself beyond my limits and see how far I can go but it's obviously not the same view point my coach has for me.  I really wanted to see how far I could get on that time limit last night.  The coach did say once I got through with my scaled WOD I could run some more.  I don't think he thought I would but I did.  I wanted to see how far I could've gotten within that 15 minute time limit.  I finished at 12:57 and ran another 200 meters and finished in 15:08.  I don't think the coach was happy I did that extra 200.  And then when I said the time he wrote on the board was cheating me by 3 seconds he acted like it wasn't important enough to change the time.  DAMN!!!  He's always telling me to push myself and go for the best time I can get.  I wanted my 3 seconds!!!  He changed it but clearly not happy about doing so.  It's like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.  So do I continue to push myself and work hard or just sit back and do the minimum???  Just feeling a bit frustrated today.  Or do I continue to do the scaled versions and then on my own do it all???  Just don't have my head in a good place right now.  Hope that changes later in the day and I can somehow try to come around to my coach's way of thinking.  What I do know is I have to do what is told to me in the gym no matter how I feel.