Day 3

Breakfast
Protein Shake with water and 2 cups strawberries (1 block protein and 2 blocks carb)
2 eggs (2 blocks protein)
9 Almonds (3 blocks fat)
Coffee

Snack
2oz. turkey (2 blocks protein)
1/2 cup grapes (1 block carbs)
Spinach/Mushroom salad (1 block carbs)
6 Almonds (2 blocks fat)
Water

Lunch
Shrimp (3 blocks protein)
Assorted veggies (2 block carb)
1/2 cup grapes (1 block carbs)
9 Almonds (3 blocks fat)
Water

Snack
2oz. Turkey (2 blocks protein)
1 cup grapes (2 blocks carbs)
6 Almonds (2 blocks fat)
Water

Dinner
3oz. Hamburger patty (3 blocks protein)
1/2 cup salsa (1 block carbs)
Broccoli, mushrooms and onions (2 block carbs)
1 1/2 tsp. peanut butter (3 blocks fat)
Water



Protein              Carbs              Fat
    13                    12                    13

So Cold...

Back Squat- 5×3 85% - 120lbs.

Then….

Complete 4 rounds for time of: 16:21

30 air squats
15 hand release push-ups
200m run

 

This was a tough WOD because it was so cold for those runs but it did make me run faster to get them over with.  But I did it. 

 

I just want to keep this motivation going! 

Day 2

Breakfast
Protein Shake with water and 2 cups strawberries (1 block protein and 2 blocks carb)
2 eggs (2 blocks protein)
9 Almonds (3 blocks fat)
Coffee

Snack
2oz. turkey (2 blocks protein)
1 cup grapes (2 blocks carbs)
6 Almonds (2 blocks fat)

Lunch
3oz. turkey (3 blocks protein)
Black eyed peas (1 block carb)
1/2 cup grapes (1 block carbs)
Spinach, Mushroom salad (1 block carbs)
9 Almonds (3 blocks fat)
Water

Snack
2oz. turkey (2 blocks protein)
1 cup grapes (2 blocks carbs)
6 Almonds (2 blocks fat)
Water

Dinner
3oz. turkey (3 blocks protein)
1/2 cup Black eye peas (1 block carbs)
Small Spinach and mushroom salad (1 block carbs)
1 1/2 tsp. peanut butter (3 blocks fat)
Water



Protein              Carbs              Fat
    13                    11                    13

Lost and Found

I feel like I've been through the lost and found department!  After feeling at a loss of what direction I'm going in and what to do and where to turn I finally worked my way through that rainy river of tears. 

I went and ran my 5K with a friend as he ran a 10K.  I ran mine in 56:02.  (He ran his in 1:01).  I had a goal of 48 minutes.  I was a long way from that goal. 

Somewhere on this walk/run I found some of my motivation come back.  I don't know if it had to do with the fact that I was on part of the path that I did my first 5K on or what but I felt an ease I hadn't felt in a while.  I got about a half mile into the run before I felt myself getting tired.  I walked more the first mile and a half than I did the last half.  I think I was letting my mind wander a little too much on the first half.  I found myself reliving that first 5K and remembering how alone I felt and thinking nobody would be back at the finish line when I returned except for the friend who ran with me today.  But as I remembered those feelings I didn't feel them for this run. 

Somewhere along the run it hit me that I'm stronger and healthier than I was this time last year.  I have an "I'm going to figure out how to do it some way somehow" attitude and I found it again today. 

I have to find a way not to let my frustration get in the way though  I know I'm goal obsessed and have to remember even when I don't meet my goals it's okay as long as I continue to work hard towards those goals.  Now, to remember that when I step on that scale and weigh in this weekend. 

I was scared to post my time when I posted about my run due to not meeting the goal I was striving for but then I got that text asking me for it.  I figured I had not been running the right path at the gym since my times at the park were about 2 minutes slower than the gym so I mentioned that in my response with my time.  Come to find out I wasn't as my little running partner told him my path.  So, I get to relearn the path at the gym.  Not glad I was cutting off some of the mile but glad to know I can work from this time and improve from here. 

So, I've gone from feeling lost to feeling like I found a little bit of me that's going to help me get through all these struggles.  I CAN DO THIS!!! 

New Year - Day 1

Breakfast
Protein Shake with water and 2 cups strawberries (1 block protein and 2 blocks carb)
2 eggs (2 blocks protein)
9 Almonds (3 blocks fat)
Coffee

Snack
2oz. turkey (2 blocks protein)
1 cup grapes (2 blocks carbs)
6 Almonds (2 blocks fat)

Lunch
3oz. turkey (3 blocks protein)
Popcorn (1 block carbs)
1/2 cup Salsa (1 block carb)
1/2 cup grapes (1 block carbs)
9 Almonds (3 blocks fat)
Water

Snack
2oz. turkey (2 blocks protein)
1 cup grapes (2 blocks carbs)
6 Almonds (2 blocks fat)
Water

Dinner
3oz. black bean burger patty (3 blocks protein)
Broccoli (1 block carbs)
1/2 cup Black eye peas (1 block carbs)
1/2 cup Salsa (1 block carb)
Small Spinach and mushroom salad
1 1/2 tsp. peanut butter (3 blocks fat)
Water



Protein              Carbs              Fat
    13                    13                    13

Finding the Hope

The start of a new day and new year.   I made 1 very big change last year and that was wanting to lose weight and I learned that I could also get healthy in the process.  It's been a tough battle. 

It all started out great and the weight came off quickly in the beginning almost like I didn't even have to try to eat healthy as long as I worked out.  That lasted all of about 6 months.  Then that thing called a plateau happened and I didn't lose weight and then I gained weight.  The next 3 months were hell.  I wanted to give up and quit.  Each month got harder and tougher to walk into the gym.  I wasn't the best at eating right and would frequently eat things I didn't need to be eating.  In October I started keeping track of my food since September was the beginning of the plateau.  Then came November, and there was weight gain.  I was told it was muscle weight since I didn't lose any body fat.  I bought that excuse for all of about 2 days.  I kept logging my food everyday and looking back to see where I went wrong.  Then came November's weigh in leading into December and still in this plateau hell.  This made 3 months of no improvements.  I was done!  I decided then that if I didn't see any improvement in December I was done with CrossFit.  Each month I had gotten better at eating right and less and less cheat meals and kept up with exercising 5-6 days a week.  I was going nowhere.  I wasn't getting any faster with the movements.  I was beyond exhausted with trying. 

So here comes and goes Dec. and I've only lost a few pounds.  I've made changes such as eliminating milk and only had 3 cheat meals the entire month and even those weren't too terrible.  I keep going into the gym and giving it all I have but still that doesn't seem to be enough.  I try not to stop during the WOD's but sometimes I can't even catch my breath even on the rower.  I think people who don't have weight to lose don't understand how hard it is to keep a fast pace no matter how hard I try.  They just don't understand because they haven't been there. 

While I'm happy with the accomplishments I've made I'm disappointed that I didn't do better this past year.  I feel like I'm never going to get it right or it's ever going to be good enough.  Every time before I walk into the gym I always say a prayer that I can do what is on the board.  Then I walk in and the fear sets in.  What used to be fun isn't anymore.  I used to ask questions but now that's turned to fear of being teased that I should know already how to do everything.  And I probably should but I don't. 

I know something has to change whether it's the workouts, the food or something else for me to continue on this path.  Some days I feel like I have support for getting myself into the gym.  Other days I feel defeated before I ever walk in the door.  I know I want to get better and faster and stronger and right now that's the only thing keeping me walking in the gym doors.  But I feel that drive fading and it scares me. 

I love CrossFit and the community it brings.  But for me personally, I want more results.  I just don't know how to get them.  I know I'm trying!  So for January, I'm sticking strictly to the food plan and  going to step up how many times I'm out there walking/jogging until I can get to a run in addition to working out.  I don't think backing off the exercise is the right decision.  I'm digging deep for all the motivation I can find and keep going for now.  I want this even through all the frustration, hurt and disappointments.  This is for ME and nobody else!!!  Well, maybe my fur babies ;-)

Day 25 - End of year!

Breakfast
Protein Shake with water and 2 cups strawberries (1 block protein and 2 blocks carb)
2 eggs (2 blocks protein)
9 Almonds (3 blocks fat)
Coffee

Snack
2oz. turkey (2 blocks protein)
1 cup grapes (2 blocks carbs)
6 Almonds (2 blocks fat)

Lunch
3oz.hamburger patty (3 blocks protein)
Popcorn (1 block carbs)
1/2 cup Salsa (1 block carb)
9 Almonds (3 blocks fat)
Water

Snack
2oz. turkey (2 blocks protein)
1 cup grapes (2 blocks carbs)
6 Almonds (2 blocks fat)
Water

Dinner
3oz.Black bean burger patty (3 blocks protein)
Broccoli (1 block carbs)
Green Beans (1 block carbs)
1/2 cup Salsa (1 block carb)
1 1/2 tsp. peanut butter (3 blocks fat)
Water



Protein              Carbs              Fat
    13                    11                    13