Lost and Found

I feel like I've been through the lost and found department!  After feeling at a loss of what direction I'm going in and what to do and where to turn I finally worked my way through that rainy river of tears. 

I went and ran my 5K with a friend as he ran a 10K.  I ran mine in 56:02.  (He ran his in 1:01).  I had a goal of 48 minutes.  I was a long way from that goal. 

Somewhere on this walk/run I found some of my motivation come back.  I don't know if it had to do with the fact that I was on part of the path that I did my first 5K on or what but I felt an ease I hadn't felt in a while.  I got about a half mile into the run before I felt myself getting tired.  I walked more the first mile and a half than I did the last half.  I think I was letting my mind wander a little too much on the first half.  I found myself reliving that first 5K and remembering how alone I felt and thinking nobody would be back at the finish line when I returned except for the friend who ran with me today.  But as I remembered those feelings I didn't feel them for this run. 

Somewhere along the run it hit me that I'm stronger and healthier than I was this time last year.  I have an "I'm going to figure out how to do it some way somehow" attitude and I found it again today. 

I have to find a way not to let my frustration get in the way though  I know I'm goal obsessed and have to remember even when I don't meet my goals it's okay as long as I continue to work hard towards those goals.  Now, to remember that when I step on that scale and weigh in this weekend. 

I was scared to post my time when I posted about my run due to not meeting the goal I was striving for but then I got that text asking me for it.  I figured I had not been running the right path at the gym since my times at the park were about 2 minutes slower than the gym so I mentioned that in my response with my time.  Come to find out I wasn't as my little running partner told him my path.  So, I get to relearn the path at the gym.  Not glad I was cutting off some of the mile but glad to know I can work from this time and improve from here. 

So, I've gone from feeling lost to feeling like I found a little bit of me that's going to help me get through all these struggles.  I CAN DO THIS!!!