Tonight's WOD was more than I could handle. I get frustrated and pissed off at times but rarely do both happen at the same time. I really had to bite my tongue tonight. I do not like being told I know how to do something when I know I don't. I have no problems trying to do something but I do know my capabilities. I also know it's the coaches job to push me. But sometimes I would rather hear the coach say I know you have trouble doing this or that so do what you can instead of telling me they know I can do something when I know I can't. And it doesn't help when I'm on the first round and everyone else is almost done with their 5 rounds. And it's only the warm up. I can handle being last during the WOD but in the warm up I know I'm holding everyone else up from being able to start the WOD. But I will say for the first time I was told to stop the warm up after I got thru with the round I was on. DUH! Is what I wanted to say because I was only on round 3 (and I know I didn't even do all that I was supposed to do in those 3 rounds) and everyone else was done and been done. I had to walk out for a minute and collect myself. It was either that or just break down and cry and snap on a coach. I know the coaches knew I was pissed off and luckily they left me alone. And I have no doubt I pissed the coaches off by walking outside. But I really believe we all needed some alone time from each other.
Take 15 minutes to attempt a 1 rep max push press.
85lbs.
Complete 10 rounds for time of:
10 SDLHP 45lbs.
5 Burpees
Time: 26:26
So during the push press maxes I learned whatever I do say will get back to the coaches. I have such a hard time convincing myself to jump with the lifts. I just have too much bouncing around between the boobs and the stomach that I'm self conscious about it. I feel like every time I do everyone hears everything jiggle. I know that is all in my head. So tonight, the coach came over to me and told me I needed to start using my legs and hips more and he understood and gets it as to why I don't want to jump but to also get over it and just do it. I will have to say I needed to hear that especially from this coach. It's not really an issue around the female coaches. I was kind of surprised this came after my wonderful little walk out.
The SDLHP's were better than I thought they would be. Although, I learned that the shirt I had on over my tank top was not the shirt to wear for lifts as the bar kept sticking to my shirt. After the 2nd round I was done and had to take that shirt off. Problem is my tank tops are too low cut and too big so I feel like I'm flashing everyone. Thank goodness for a decent sports bra - LOL! Guess it really is time to shop for smaller tanks.
Burpees just suck! But one day I'm going to figure out how to do them.
And I really hate anyone comparing my time to anyone else's. I don't care who it is. My goal is to complete the WOD and now even more so the Warm Up. I didn't mean to snap on one of the coaches when they said something to me but that is the one thing that gets to me.
Okay, so writing all this out tonight as well as talking with some of the CF gals about a few of the things I feel a little better. I did come home and just cry but I needed to get it all out. I need to start off tomorrow by putting all this behind me. If not, it's not going to do me any good and it's just going to irritate my coaches and well... one of them has no problem chewing me out when needed which was one of the one's working tonight. So no more pity party, frustration or being pissed off tomorrow!
Since I don't know who if anyone reads what I write just remember this is my place to vent and work through all my feelings about the WOD and CrossFit. I'm not trying to sound mean or ugly to anyone. I know I'm my own worst enemy and I really need to remember to be my own best friend. I do have awesome coaches, all 4 of them. Just sometimes they irritate the hell out of me! As I do them! But I wouldn't trade them for anyone else!
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