I had gotten to a place where I didn't get butterflies in my stomach when walking into the gym. That has now changed. My stomach is in knots. I find myself running my fears through my head and trying to figure out how to conquer them over and over. No matter how hard any of the coaches push me I just haven't achieved overcoming these fears. I feel like the coaches are giving up on me sometimes. I don't know if it's their frustration or mine or a little of both.
I should have gone this morning to workout. Admittedly, the coach's mood from Wed. has me scared. But I will go tonight. I'm determined to go in tonight and if nobody is working out I'm going to conquer those squats and if I'm unable to do that I'm going to grab a box and go in a corner and stand up on that box all by myself. I'm going to accomplish something. I don't know which but somehow and some way I'm going to. I'm going to replace these butterflies with new challenges to overcome. One by one...
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