World was Rocked

Today's WOD kicked my butt to somewhere across the pond.  The WOD's are getting tougher.  I was really trying to focus on going lower with the squats but I know that didn't happen a lot. 

My world got rocked with that whole stepping on a box without anything to hold on to.  I wanted to break down and cry.  I guess to really put it bluntly I wanted to scream!  Heights terrify me.  And then to hear anyone say they're just a few inches off the floor makes me feel worse.  I know it's not meant in a demeaning way but rather to encourage me that I can do it.  It's just too freakin' scary.  I have to find a way to get over it.  I talk to myself in my head saying I can do this but there's still something holding me back.  And that something is fear.  I can picture myself stepping up on the box in my mind but that fear just sticks it's neck out when it comes to reality. 

I hate it when I snap at the coach and I did that.  I know he said he can handle it but it always makes me feel bad.  That's just not who I am.  I don't like snapping at people.  I want everything to be happy and cheerful!  I was going to apologize but he had other things going on.  That's twice now in less than a week I've snapped at him.  So not me when it comes to snapping at folks especially someone who's trying to help me. 

But I was determined I wasn't going to cheat on this WOD (or any other for that matter) and do all the reps. 

I just have to focus on tomorrow and just do better.