Reality Check

So, around midnight last night I had an AHA moment.  Might as well have been smacked on top of the head.  Definitely a wake up call...

During the workout last night the coach walked by me and said I wasn't pushing myself hard enough.  I heard him but it took a bit to really sink in. 

I know I wasn't pushing myself hard enough last night.  But, DAMN!!!  You can't get anything past this coach.  He is not going to let you slide by for anything. 

All I could think about was not getting that hang clean right and by the time I did I couldn't get the bar high enough and I just quit.  Oh, how I wish I could go back and do that over and not quit. 

Then, I just plain struggled during the WOD.  I have to figure out those squats.  That is just driving me crazy.  Why is it so hard for me?  Why can't I get the confidence to just bend low enough?  I've started figuring out box jumps (even if it just a weight) and jump ropes.  What is it going to take to snap in my head to just squat low enough???   We do squats with so many of the exercises.  I feel like 3 months into this I should have already conquered this. 

I must add I'm not in any way mad at the coach for saying this to me.  I need to be pushed or I will slack off.  I don't like hearing it but I need to hear these things and I need to think about what I need to work harder on to keep improving.  I started to get the hang of a few things this week but I don't need to stop there.  I need to keep pushing myself to get better and improve.  It's the only way I'm going to get stronger and healthier.