CrossFit and Judaism Meet

Today has been a day of rest and relaxation from any type of workout.  After 2 days of hellish WOD's and lots of disappointments I didn't have it in me to go for a 3rd day in a row.  But I have been doing a lot of soul searching about this journey. 

Do I really want this?  YES!  That is why I push myself so hard to workout. 

But lately it's just been a nagging headache.  I've lost that enthusiastic person I was when I first started this journey.  I MISS HER!!!  I NEED HER TO COME BACK!!!  I walked into this gym 6 months ago with lots of fear but at the same time seeing possibilities of getting myself healthy and losing weight and inches.  I NEED THAT ENTHUSIASM TO COME BACK!!! 

I never knew this journey would be so difficult.  When reading other peoples stories and listening to others it's like they're perfect and nothing is difficult.  How does anyone get through these struggles without disappointments and frustrations? 

Last night I went to my synagogue and the rabbi's sermon was just what I needed to hear.  It was as if G-d was speaking straight to my heart.  This time of year being Jewish can be a struggle as we work so diligently in these 28 days leading up to our new year to clean our slate so to speak.  It's a time to trash all that excess and useless data and stuff that has been hanging around all year.  Meaning, we ask for teshuvah (repentance) from those we've sinned against.  It's a time to clear out all that excess baggage.  Well, in that process I'm trying to sort out how to stay on this journey of getting healthy.  After all, it's a mitzvah (commandment) to be healthy in the Jewish faith. 

I have looked in too many directions for help and guidance and that has messed with my thinking which messes with my actions of doing what I need to do to get healthy.  Some people think I'm doing this for the trainer/coach and that can't be farther from the truth.  I walked in that gym on my own with a goal on my mind and didn't consult anyone about why outside of just getting opinions about CrossFit from a few people.  Now, it's time to get back to that person I was when I walked in  focused on me and my goals.  I have 3 trainers that have known me from the beginning of this journey and I have to put my faith in them with their guidance.  I have to quit listening to everyone else and if that means not talking to them as far as confiding in them then that is what I need to do. 

I've been working on getting back to ME and doing what is right for ME.  Now, it's time!  I want this for me and nobody else. 

I've stayed on the nutrition plan now for 8 days straight.  The first week before these 8 days was hard and I made some mistakes but did get 3 of those days correct.  So now, it's time to get through the rest of the month and see how this nutrition plan really works.  Some days like today I feel so stuffed and feel like I can't eat anymore.  Then other days I've been hungry.  It doesn't make sense to me but I'll reevaluate with the trainer the first of next month with the results and hope for the best. 

For now, I'm going to take things one day at a time and do my best and give it my all!  And get back to that person with the enthusiasm I had on day one and bring it to now, 6 months later!