Staying in the Battle!

I had a feeling that monthly weigh in was going to be tonight.  I thought I was prepared and I actually did better than I thought I would.  I didn't break down and cry at least.  I was disappointed and discouraged that I only lost 14lbs. for the month of August.  I knew I wouldn't lose the 30lbs. as was the original goal.  After I had talked to one of the other coaches about the 30lbs. in 30 days and he was afraid of my being set up for disappointment I made my own goal.  I kept this goal to myself and didn't share with this coach or anyone until tonight. 

I don't think my coaches understand that when I say I'm going to do something I expect to make it happen.  When I agreed to this coach saying 30lbs. in 30 days I took it as my goal.  I know I screwed up the first week and only got 3 days right but I have gotten the last 21 days right and followed everything exactly.  So I don't understand why I couldn't at least lose 20lbs. in these 3 weeks.  I wanted to ask but that wasn't happening. 

The other thing that ticked me off was being called out about how much I lost in front of everyone.  This coach knows better than anyone in that gym I don't like that.  At one point I just wanted to yell at him to shut up.  I know better than to do so and luckily I kept quiet.  It seems like he loves to push my buttons sometimes.  I just don't understand why he thinks everyone needs to know everything.  Because as soon as he said something everyone else had an opinion and comment.  Sometimes I just want to keep things to myself until I've had a chance to digest the info.  I know I will go ham and cheese on him if he ever says my actual weight out loud to anyone.  I have put myself out there and left my comfort zone every other time he has asked me to.  That's just one button he really doesn't want to push.  This is one I won't stand for. 

So now that I've gotten that out of my system I feel better ;-)

So after listening to everyone and their 2 cents worth of comments I came home and digested the information.  Took me about an hour for my pity party.  I knew I wasn't giving up and I already knew I wasn't going to throw all my nutrition out the door.  I did have to deal with my coach telling me about my pissy attitude when I don't meet my goals.  My guardian angel must have been working overtime tonight because it kept me from saying some things. 

I just wish this coach understood how much I do care about getting healthy and that includes losing this weight and how seriously I take it.  I think I did hear him say he was happy with my 14lbs. weight loss. 

So it appears the same nutrition schedule is on track for September.  I don't know what the goal is for September or if there is one.  I know I would like to see 30lbs. for the month of September.  I know I want to lose 8 more pounds by the end of next week.  Not sure what the coach thinks is reasonable.  But I do know I want to kick nutrition's butt and meet my ultimate goal.   Wonder if he'll tell me what he thinks is a reasonable weight loss. 

Now, that I've vented that out I really don't want my coaches to change.  If this one wasn't tough on me I would've already given up.  

Staying in the battle!